The Adventures of Adoption and Parenthood

The above is a selection of toys that Turtle got for Christmas. For this of you who follow this blog, you know that Turtle is a girl. But looking at these toys many people would make the mistake of thinking Turtle was a boy.  Magformers, Dusty Crophopper, die-cast helicopters, model helicopters, F-22 fighter jet, and so on. She didn't get a single "girl" toy for Christmas much to her relief. We are fortunate to have thoughtful family and friends who recognize that getting her princesses, dolls, and dress up is a waste of money because she won't play with them. It doesn't make her less of a girl. But I recently read a stream of comments on a friend's FB post about her son getting a pink stroller for his 2nd birthday. One of her friends was adamant that she was confusing her son and was sure to point out that he is not a girl. She even went on to say that she clearly needed to have a daughter to fulfill her fantasies of girl toys. I was disgusted with this ...

There was another school shooting today. All of them make me unspeakably sad, but this one made me weep. I did not know anyone closely who attended the school and chances are very good, that I don't know the teachers either. But Arapahoe High School is my alma mater. I graduated in 1989. Today, as I heard the news I was back in those hallways. I was sitting in one of the booths in the cafeteria. I was attending my favorite class. I was accessing my locker. I remember those locker-lined halls. I remember the two locations of my lockers. I had one when I first started at the school, and my locker-mate thought it would be funny to take the new girl's books with her to class so that I had nothing. Me being me, I went straight to the principal who tracked her down and got my books back. I had a new locker in the other long hallway the next day to myself and she got another locker-mate. Karma. I remember gym class and the locker room. I remember the location of my favorite ...

As parents, we hear about the Terrible Twos. Turtle was tantrum free at two. What is three? I called it the Theatrical Threes, because there was a bit of drama. Not much, but certainly more than at two. Four. Ah, Four. Fearsome Fours maybe. Four Sucks! Suddenly we have loud blatant defiance. We have loud and determined No's! coming out of Turtle. We have a lot of misbehavior and testing. As a parent, you are supposed to pick your battles, but how do you know which ones to pick? There are so many lately. The other day, she insisted on walking backwards down the hall at school and crashed into a door. I told her to turn around and she said, loudly and simply, "No!" I am so taken aback by this. This is not my Turtle. Turtle is obedient. Turtle is a rule-follower. What the hell is going on? So, we stop in the hallway and I say her name in a loud voice. She looks up at me startled, turns around and leans into me like a little old lady who needs help crossing the street. We w...

About a week ago, I told all of my Facebook friends how much of a pain in the butt the Elf on the Shelf is. And it is. Every night there is the pressure to move her to a new spot and to get creative. I'm not creative. I have to use Pinterest for my ideas. And I don't enjoy messes. Well, I got a lesson this morning in why Elf on the Shelf is worth it. Yesterday, we took Turtle to see Santa Claus at the North Pole. She nervously stood next to Santa Claus - not close enough to touch him, but near him. He asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and she stammered out that she wanted to tell her Elf what she wanted: Santa: What is your Elf's name? Turtle: Dolphin Santa: Okay, I'll talk to Dolphin when I see her tonight. But you know the elves are ornery this year. They are going to string toilet paper on Christmas trees and use flour and sugar to make snow angels on your kitchen table. Last year, some of them even made zip lines. Turtle was smiling. She was smiling...