The Adventures of Adoption and Parenthood

Today is my birthday. I'm 44. I have a very sick Segunda on my hands. The child can't stop coughing and she throws up and she chokes on her own snot ... you get the idea. My husband is starting to get sick too. Prima's birthday was Wednesday, but we didn't celebrate it until yesterday. Husband travels to Houston very early tomorrow morning. I took Prima to the birthday party of a classmate today. It wasn't much of a birthday. And as I wracked up the sympathy from the kind people who called to wish me a happy birthday, I realized that this is the best birthday ever. You see, I have a husband whom I have been married to for over 15 years. I have a lovely home. I have 2 children. What more does one need to have a great birthday? Every time Segunda sprayed her germs all over me when she coughed, I just held her tighter.  Every time Prima complained that she wasn't getting enough attention, I just smiled at her and reminded her about Chinese New Year on Friday, h

It seems inevitable that I would write a post today. Things that shake me emotionally generate blog posts. I have a friend, who I only know through Facebook, who died this morning from brain cancer. She leaves behind a husband and daughter. Her daughter is adopted from China. This is hitting me particularly hard because I have been reading a book pointing out how very difficult the lives of adoptees really are. The book is called Primal Wound and anyone associated in any way with adoption really needs to read it. What I've learned is that adoptees never recover from being abandoned by their birth mother. Let me repeat that, they never recover. They may find ways to cope with it. They may not even be aware that it is impacting them. But every decision they make with their lives is impacted by this abandonment. And I got to thinking about my friend's daughter, who is in elementary school, who has lost not one but two mothers. I wish I could help them, but they live very far awa