The Adventures of Adoption and Parenthood

I'm floundering a little here. Since we gave Turtle the news of Mei Mei, which was Sunday (6 days ago), she has had at least 6 major meltdowns. The three she had on Sunday we expected and involved these screams of total rage and panic. By Monday she was bragging about her sister at school. Keep in mind we are not at all used to this many. We have seen it before but it doesn't happen that often. She had one on Monday because I wouldn't buy her anything at Toys R Us. She screamed and screamed and screamed. It was awesome. Yesterday she had an hour long meltdown, or temper tantrum, because I carried her stuffed animals upstairs and she carried her shoes and socks. She wanted to carry her stuffed animals upstairs. My response was, "well then take them back downstairs and come back up." Her response was, "No, you take them back downstairs and I will bring them back up." Not a slave to a 5 year old so didn't happen. But she raged and screamed and thras

Turtle is on the verge of a new baby sister. Her "baby" sister is just shy of 18 months old and currently lives in an orphanage in China. I will call her Mei Mei. Turtle is both happy and anxious about this news. Last night she handed me a book that she wanted me to read titled, "Big Sisters Are the Best." As I read each page, she proclaimed emphatically, "I will not like my sister!" My answer was less than patient, "Turtle, you have told me that already. I know that's how you feel and it's perfectly fine that you feel that way. Do you want me to read you this story or not?" Frankly, her story choice surprised me. She has spurned all books that involve the glories of being a big sister. Our neighbors brought over a book earlier this week about big sisterhood that made her laugh and laugh, so I think she is coming around. At school, she is all smiles when she talks about her sister and shows off her picture. I also watched her with one

Pardon this post, as it will be disjointed. I'm writing it in self defense so that I can go to sleep tonight. Our poor Turtle had a rough evening. She went from crying her eyes out, to hysterical laughter, to crying her eyes out, to hysterical laughter, to crying her eyes to out, to "I'm hungry. I need carrots." This took about an hour and a half. And I'm exhausted. It started because she wanted to put the dvd in herself and had the impression that her daddy helped her. So he let her re-load it. Then it was that she wanted gymnastics again. Then it was that she didn't want to stop swimming because she would miss her swim teachers. Genuine grief in her face and I knew it was much more than these things. Slowly she began to talk about her sister. We are adopting a second child from China and are expecting a match imminently. She asked if we could bring "baby stuffies" and "big girl stuffies" to China. I told her yes and asked her which

Last night Turtle and I had the following conversation: Turtle: Mom, will you come to my wedding? Me: Are you kidding? Of course, I will. Turtle: Who will I marry? Me: Well, you will find a nice person, fall in love, and get married Turtle with tears in her eyes and quivery lip: But I want to marry Daddy. Me: Oh, of course you can marry Daddy. Turtle: But Daddy says he is only married to you. Me: I don't think Daddy understood what you were asking him. You can marry Daddy. Turtle crying her little heart out and her face is breaking out in hives: Can you tell Daddy? Me: Yes, I will tell Daddy. Turtle: I want to marry you too. Me: I would love to marry you. Let's all marry each other. Turtle will be 5 in less than a week. She is young enough to believe that she can marry mommy and daddy and I am not at all inclined to dissuade her. She clearly needs the reassurance that we will be with her forever. What goes on in her head? What does she think about? It has becom