Motherhood - It's a Lonely Business
Motherhood is a lonely business.
Your babies want you when they are hurting. They want you when they are hungry. They want you when they are tired. They want you when they are angry.
You're their source of succor. You're probably your partner's source of succor too. And some of you, like me, serve that role at work also and for many of your friends. It is my greatest desire to make a helpful difference in everyone's lives.
I'm exhausted and I'm lonely. After the lights are out, I lay in my bed, with my kids sleeping beside me, watching Gilmore Girls on my tiny iPhone screen just trying to get a little bit of relief from the daily duties that are sometimes drudgery, sometimes frustrating, sometimes painful.
At lunch during the week, I juggle calendars and create "to do" lists and "don't forget" lists. Register Segunda for kindergarten, put Prima's sparring bag in the car (don't forget the bo staff), whoops Segunda has swimming tonight that we almost forgot about, dinner out with friends and I find the time because I need it so desperately, get a babysitter, don't forget to schedule those ski lessons, birthday plans, Chinese New Year plans, doctor's visits.
I'm exhausted and I'm lonely. After the lights are out, I wait for the kids to go to sleep before I can turn the light back on and read a book. I used to read 100 books a year. I'm lucky if I can get through half a dozen. Reading feeds my soul. Being a mother doesn't mean I should starve my soul, but I am.
The day will come when I will get to read all I want and watch my tv shows in the family room and I will tear up because time went so fast and I will long for their snuggly bodies to be in my lap. I will want to hear their "I love yous" and wish for their wet kisses. I will lay awake at night listening for them to come home for their time out with friends and dates with the phone in my hand, just in case. I will spend my days booking college visits, helping with applications, and sending my babies out of the nest.
Motherhood is a lonely business.
Your babies want you when they are hurting. They want you when they are hungry. They want you when they are tired. They want you when they are angry.
You're their source of succor. You're probably your partner's source of succor too. And some of you, like me, serve that role at work also and for many of your friends. It is my greatest desire to make a helpful difference in everyone's lives.
I'm exhausted and I'm lonely. After the lights are out, I lay in my bed, with my kids sleeping beside me, watching Gilmore Girls on my tiny iPhone screen just trying to get a little bit of relief from the daily duties that are sometimes drudgery, sometimes frustrating, sometimes painful.
At lunch during the week, I juggle calendars and create "to do" lists and "don't forget" lists. Register Segunda for kindergarten, put Prima's sparring bag in the car (don't forget the bo staff), whoops Segunda has swimming tonight that we almost forgot about, dinner out with friends and I find the time because I need it so desperately, get a babysitter, don't forget to schedule those ski lessons, birthday plans, Chinese New Year plans, doctor's visits.
I'm exhausted and I'm lonely. After the lights are out, I wait for the kids to go to sleep before I can turn the light back on and read a book. I used to read 100 books a year. I'm lucky if I can get through half a dozen. Reading feeds my soul. Being a mother doesn't mean I should starve my soul, but I am.
The day will come when I will get to read all I want and watch my tv shows in the family room and I will tear up because time went so fast and I will long for their snuggly bodies to be in my lap. I will want to hear their "I love yous" and wish for their wet kisses. I will lay awake at night listening for them to come home for their time out with friends and dates with the phone in my hand, just in case. I will spend my days booking college visits, helping with applications, and sending my babies out of the nest.
Motherhood is a lonely business.
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