People Pleaser and Pokemon
Prima is a People Pleaser. I'm trying to tame that a bit because I know that it will get her in trouble in the future. People Pleasers give away their belongings to their friends because their friends ask them to and they want their friends to be happy. People Pleasers have sex because their boyfriend or girlfriend asked them to and they want their boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. Yes, that escalated quickly, but that's where we are headed. Yes, I know she is only six years old.
Prima has a new found love of Pokemon that she acquired over the summer. She went to a Day Camp/School place that had students in her class ages 6 and up. There is a 9 year old girl who wants to trade Pokemon cards with Prima. We have banned Prima from trading. Why? Because she has no earthly idea how to play Pokemon although she thinks she does and will end up trading all of her great cards to the 9 year old who is itching to get a hold of my daughter's "Mega EX" cards (whatever that is). Towards the end of summer, we told her she could trade the duplicates, which she did the very next day with great gusto.
"But [9 year old] wants my Kingdra, Mommy. I want to make her happy."
Her happiness is not your problem.
"But I'm trying to practice kindness."
It's one thing to be kind, it's another thing to give away all of your good cards just to make someone happy.
"But isn't it nice to be kind and make people happy?"
Shit! How do you do this? How do you teach a 6 year old child that she is going to be taken advantage of and that it will hurt? Trading with other 6 year olds is fine, but trading with the "worldly" 9 year old is out of the question. Her fellow 6 year olds know as much as she does about Pokemon.
I'm all for learning from your own mistakes, but I'm not ready for her to get railroaded at the tender age of 6. I told her she could trade all she wanted next summer. And I told her to be prepared to end up with a deck of bad cards that lost her every game. She said, "But my friends will be happy and that will be okay,"
Yes, and when she is walking around with a sexually transmitted disease at 15 because she wanted to make her sexual partner happy, that will not be okay.
How do you explain to your child what factors to consider when making decisions and how to protect herself? How do you teach them the difference between being kind and being a patsy? Parenthood is all about teaching decision making so that when they are faced with the big ones like sex, drugs and college choices, they have a solid foundation to draw from.
Prima has a new found love of Pokemon that she acquired over the summer. She went to a Day Camp/School place that had students in her class ages 6 and up. There is a 9 year old girl who wants to trade Pokemon cards with Prima. We have banned Prima from trading. Why? Because she has no earthly idea how to play Pokemon although she thinks she does and will end up trading all of her great cards to the 9 year old who is itching to get a hold of my daughter's "Mega EX" cards (whatever that is). Towards the end of summer, we told her she could trade the duplicates, which she did the very next day with great gusto.
"But [9 year old] wants my Kingdra, Mommy. I want to make her happy."
Her happiness is not your problem.
"But I'm trying to practice kindness."
It's one thing to be kind, it's another thing to give away all of your good cards just to make someone happy.
"But isn't it nice to be kind and make people happy?"
Shit! How do you do this? How do you teach a 6 year old child that she is going to be taken advantage of and that it will hurt? Trading with other 6 year olds is fine, but trading with the "worldly" 9 year old is out of the question. Her fellow 6 year olds know as much as she does about Pokemon.
I'm all for learning from your own mistakes, but I'm not ready for her to get railroaded at the tender age of 6. I told her she could trade all she wanted next summer. And I told her to be prepared to end up with a deck of bad cards that lost her every game. She said, "But my friends will be happy and that will be okay,"
Yes, and when she is walking around with a sexually transmitted disease at 15 because she wanted to make her sexual partner happy, that will not be okay.
How do you explain to your child what factors to consider when making decisions and how to protect herself? How do you teach them the difference between being kind and being a patsy? Parenthood is all about teaching decision making so that when they are faced with the big ones like sex, drugs and college choices, they have a solid foundation to draw from.
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