The Accidental Happiness Project
I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I picked it up in the Tucson airport on the tail-end of a business trip so that I had something besides a business book to read on the plane. When I wasn't being pulled out of the book by her obvious wealth, which makes some of her Resolutions darn near impossible for most us, I found that I have been working on my own Happiness Project without realizing it.
A few months ago, I began to notice that I was constantly yelling at the kids, constantly criticizing my husband or nagging him, constantly fretting over the state of the house, always on the go trying to get everything done all of the time. And this had been going on for who knows how long. I was sad because I didn't have any time to myself. I was overweight. I was unfit. I ate junk food every day. I never read. At my annual physical I talked to my doctor about my mental state because I wanted it to change.
Doctor: Do you want help with your anxiety?
Me: Yes, but no medication.
Doctor: You don't need medication. Read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
I ordered it that day from Amazon. When it came in, I started it that very night. I got hung up on the first chapter. It told me to stop listening to my inner voice. I couldn't tell the difference between my inner voice and thinking. So, I sat on that chapter for about 2 weeks. Then I dove back in and finished the book. It took several weeks, but that book takes some digesting. The book taught me how to emulate Elsa and let it go.
It pointed out to me that most people allow another driver in traffic to spoil their entire morning because they were cut off in traffic. How silly and yet I have done it. It pointed out to me that perceived slights by others in any environment can ruin your day, or even several days. I learned some techniques to let those things pass through me and keep right on going. And it's working; not 100% of the time, but it's working. Traffic only occasionally gets on my nerves now. It used to be a daily occurrence. I no longer worry about what someone might have meant by their ill-chosen words. I can't waste my time and energy worrying about something that really doesn't matter. If I order some food from a restaurant and it doesn't come out like I wanted it, I can matter of factly send it back or simply eat it. If my kids are screaming the roof off and fighting, it's not a personal attack on me. I can calmly separate them and or let them work it out depending on how the fight is going. If I forget to put the laundry in the dryer, it's not the worse thing that can happen and I don't need to dwell on it.
These are simple examples of the daily things that add up little by little to increase our stress and anxiety levels to enormous proportions. There are obviously bigger things too like medical expenses, car repairs, issues with your child's school that can just about collapse the camel, as it were. If I can learn how to master letting these little things pass through me, then when the big ones hit, I will have a solid defense against collapse.
The other thing I did to try and make myself a nicer person was to try Isagenix. A friend of mine had been selling it for a few months, but I am always skeptical of things like shake diets, or Weight Watchers, or Jenny Craig. Sure people lose weight, but they tend to gain it right back. So, I talked to my friend and I learned that it wasn't really a weight loss program. It was more to balance out your body and get your energy back. Get my energy back! Sold. I actually enjoy having a shake for breakfast and a shake for lunch (only 4 times a week, let's not be ridiculous). I make healthy snacks for my week on Sundays. I meal plan and have delicious dinners for my family that involve fresh vegetables, are mostly gluten free, and are mostly dairy free. My energy is back. The perpetual swelling in my ankles is completely gone. I can now outlast the kids at the end of the day. Before, I was often asleep before they were. I don't have lunch out but maybe once a week. What a money saver that is. And I don't feel like a frumpy, unfit, miserable person at the end of everyday. I'm not exactly fit. In fact, I'm far from it. But my stamina is much higher. My energy is steady throughout the day. And I feel good about what I eat and what I'm feeding my family. I actually spend less money on food using Isagenix and grocery shopping than I was before (and that includes the Isagenix). That's also a good feeling.
I'm also reading How to Talk So Your Kids will Listen and How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. Our kids don't seem to hear their name unless I'm shrieking it at them. Then they are upset because I'm yelling at them. I've only gone as far as Chapter 2, but I practice each technique awhile before moving onto the next chapter. It's really helping.
And lastly, I'm reading Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra. All of these books I purchased and were in the works before I started reading The Happiness Project. Finding my center, my patience, my energy, happiness will help me be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, and a better all around person.
Have you started your own Happiness Project? What are you doing? Where are you making changes and are they working for you?
A few months ago, I began to notice that I was constantly yelling at the kids, constantly criticizing my husband or nagging him, constantly fretting over the state of the house, always on the go trying to get everything done all of the time. And this had been going on for who knows how long. I was sad because I didn't have any time to myself. I was overweight. I was unfit. I ate junk food every day. I never read. At my annual physical I talked to my doctor about my mental state because I wanted it to change.
Doctor: Do you want help with your anxiety?
Me: Yes, but no medication.
Doctor: You don't need medication. Read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
I ordered it that day from Amazon. When it came in, I started it that very night. I got hung up on the first chapter. It told me to stop listening to my inner voice. I couldn't tell the difference between my inner voice and thinking. So, I sat on that chapter for about 2 weeks. Then I dove back in and finished the book. It took several weeks, but that book takes some digesting. The book taught me how to emulate Elsa and let it go.
It pointed out to me that most people allow another driver in traffic to spoil their entire morning because they were cut off in traffic. How silly and yet I have done it. It pointed out to me that perceived slights by others in any environment can ruin your day, or even several days. I learned some techniques to let those things pass through me and keep right on going. And it's working; not 100% of the time, but it's working. Traffic only occasionally gets on my nerves now. It used to be a daily occurrence. I no longer worry about what someone might have meant by their ill-chosen words. I can't waste my time and energy worrying about something that really doesn't matter. If I order some food from a restaurant and it doesn't come out like I wanted it, I can matter of factly send it back or simply eat it. If my kids are screaming the roof off and fighting, it's not a personal attack on me. I can calmly separate them and or let them work it out depending on how the fight is going. If I forget to put the laundry in the dryer, it's not the worse thing that can happen and I don't need to dwell on it.
These are simple examples of the daily things that add up little by little to increase our stress and anxiety levels to enormous proportions. There are obviously bigger things too like medical expenses, car repairs, issues with your child's school that can just about collapse the camel, as it were. If I can learn how to master letting these little things pass through me, then when the big ones hit, I will have a solid defense against collapse.
The other thing I did to try and make myself a nicer person was to try Isagenix. A friend of mine had been selling it for a few months, but I am always skeptical of things like shake diets, or Weight Watchers, or Jenny Craig. Sure people lose weight, but they tend to gain it right back. So, I talked to my friend and I learned that it wasn't really a weight loss program. It was more to balance out your body and get your energy back. Get my energy back! Sold. I actually enjoy having a shake for breakfast and a shake for lunch (only 4 times a week, let's not be ridiculous). I make healthy snacks for my week on Sundays. I meal plan and have delicious dinners for my family that involve fresh vegetables, are mostly gluten free, and are mostly dairy free. My energy is back. The perpetual swelling in my ankles is completely gone. I can now outlast the kids at the end of the day. Before, I was often asleep before they were. I don't have lunch out but maybe once a week. What a money saver that is. And I don't feel like a frumpy, unfit, miserable person at the end of everyday. I'm not exactly fit. In fact, I'm far from it. But my stamina is much higher. My energy is steady throughout the day. And I feel good about what I eat and what I'm feeding my family. I actually spend less money on food using Isagenix and grocery shopping than I was before (and that includes the Isagenix). That's also a good feeling.
I'm also reading How to Talk So Your Kids will Listen and How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. Our kids don't seem to hear their name unless I'm shrieking it at them. Then they are upset because I'm yelling at them. I've only gone as far as Chapter 2, but I practice each technique awhile before moving onto the next chapter. It's really helping.
And lastly, I'm reading Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra. All of these books I purchased and were in the works before I started reading The Happiness Project. Finding my center, my patience, my energy, happiness will help me be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, and a better all around person.
Have you started your own Happiness Project? What are you doing? Where are you making changes and are they working for you?
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