The Adventures of Adoption and Parenthood

I'm selfish! It's time to take a step outside myself and focus on my husband and child. But I would rather watch my favorite tv show. I would rather read a book. I would rather just go to bed. Last night, Turtle was brushing her teeth and trying to talk to me with her toothbrush in her mouth and I'm thinking to myself "could we just get on with it." Then she wanted to floss. So, she was flossing her teeth and I was waiting. You see she can't do anything if I'm not standing right there ("I just want to be with you mama."). She gets done, hands me the floss, and says, "Can you get my moles?" I love that she calls her molars her moles. So, I remembered the important things in life and gamely got her moles. I don't even remember what we did after we were jammied up last night and our teeth were brushed. We were in bed a half an hour later - I know that much. We settled into bed to start Heidi and Turtle grabbed the book and wanted t...

A friend of mine is matched with her child and is waiting for her file to get logged in the Chinese system. It brought to mind all of the misconceptions out there about the process. TV shows like Sex in the City and King of Queens show this impossibly short timeline. You fill out an application, a picture arrives in the mail and the next week you are on an airplane. The Little Couple, whose journey is very real, had to necessarily shrink their timeline for purposes of tv. Here's how it really goes: You research adoption agencies. You fill out an application and write a check. You get a packet from your agency and the real work begins. Now you have to write to government agencies requesting copies of your birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce decrees (if any), etc. You include checks, self-addressed stamped envelopes and you wait. Those arrive, you take them along with your tax returns, and other miscellaneous items to be notarized with the appropriate languag...

When I checked the box marked girl on the adoption application, I was doing it with a certain amount of "known" expectations. Note: husband was on board with checking that box too. I had visions in my mind of helping toddler fingers change the clothes of her baby dolls and advancing into barbies as she got older. I imagined her cuddling and "mothering" her babies. I imagined lots of frilly dress-up outfits and too big dress up shoes clopping around the house. I imagined peopling dollhouses and listening to her play house with her dolls. I imagined pretend makeup and stories about princesses. I knew intellectually that girls play with everything. When Turtle turned 2, she got a kitchen for Christmas. Occasionally she "bakes" some cookies and hands them or she plays restaurant. Often the only items on the menu are things like spider pie and snake soup. Turtle, however, had other ideas about the things she would play with. My mom got her an Asian doll at ...

I have something on my mind. I saw a post on FB this morning from a friend of mine, and old friend, a respected friend, a friend whom I cherish, and it hurt me and it disturbed me. He said something to the effect of we are raising a bunch of cry babies who need to suck it up and quit whining about bullies. The comment stream was equally alarming. One friend agreed with him in repeated comments throughout even when another friend of his talked about her step daughter hanging herself a mere few months ago as a result of bullying. And the cry baby accusations continued. Now my friend simply put up the post and then did not (at least not yet) participate in the comment stream debate on bullying. There is a misperception out there that kids need to just brush off the mean things people say and move on. Children are not equipped to do that. Frankly, many adults are not equipped to do that. The adage "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" couldn't ...

Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook are probably expecting this post. Turtle is finally starting to show independence and defiance and it's a great thing. However, I find it frustrating. Turtle has been one of the most obedient children and to suddenly hear NO come out of her on a regular basis or the ability every 4-year old has to completely ignore instructions/requests is quite shocking. Me: Turtle, please stop playing with your food .... Me: Turtle, please stop playing with your food .... Husband firmly: Turtle, your mother asked you to stop playing with your food. You can go sit by yourself, or listen to your mother. Turtle bursting into tears: I don't like it when you talk to me like that. Waaaaaaaa! Oh Brother This morning it was: Turtle: sneeze Me: Do you need a tissue? Turtle: NO, sneeze - huge globs of snot all over her upper lip Me: Come in here and let me help you clean up your face Turtle: NO! Me: Get in here right now! Turtle: NO! ...

Happy New Year! I have actively tried to remember what 2013 was like and most of it escapes my memory. Thank goodness for Facebook. For me, personally, it was the year of pain. I had shingles and still have residual pain, my arthritis is in high gear especially in my hips, my asthma is worse than ever, and my anxiety levels have been through the roof this past year. All of this tells me that it is time to make a plan and get off of my ass. But I don't want to make it a resolution, because I don't keep those. I want to make it a challenge. I have great will power and feel like if I challenge myself, I can do it. I quit smoking cold turkey and I was a two-pack-a-day smoker. I just up and quit and never looked back. So surely I can begin an exercise program and watch what I eat. My challenge to myself is this: 1. Read the Exercise Cure and craft an exercise plan for myself where I start slow and build up. I want to keep the excuses to a minimum. 2. Meal plan as often as p...