Floudering
I'm floundering a little here. Since we gave Turtle the news of Mei Mei, which was Sunday (6 days ago), she has had at least 6 major meltdowns. The three she had on Sunday we expected and involved these screams of total rage and panic. By Monday she was bragging about her sister at school. Keep in mind we are not at all used to this many. We have seen it before but it doesn't happen that often.
She had one on Monday because I wouldn't buy her anything at Toys R Us. She screamed and screamed and screamed. It was awesome.
Yesterday she had an hour long meltdown, or temper tantrum, because I carried her stuffed animals upstairs and she carried her shoes and socks. She wanted to carry her stuffed animals upstairs. My response was, "well then take them back downstairs and come back up." Her response was, "No, you take them back downstairs and I will bring them back up." Not a slave to a 5 year old so didn't happen. But she raged and screamed and thrashed about in the hallway. For an hour.
Tonight she threw a gigantic fit because she is running out of pull ups. Yes, that's right my 5 year old refuses to poop in the toilet at home. She and I talked about it when we opened this box of Pull Ups. Since she goes at school ... in the toilet ... the deal is that when this box is done, she must go in the toilet at home too. There are about half a dozen left and she ordered me to buy her more. My answer, "No, remember, when these are gone, it's time to go in the toilet." Instant rage: jumping, kicking, screaming, and shouting that she will poop in her underwear. It took husband coming upstairs and using his stern daddy voice to get her to stop screaming. Once he got her to stop screaming and we had more inane conversations about where she would have her bowel movements she was finally at the hiccoughing stage of her cry and I wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her for awhile. We still don't have resolution to the great poop question. Both husband and I told her she could poop in her underwear but that it was her responsibility to clean up afterwards. She didn't like that answer. This meltdown, or temper tantrum, probably lasted 30 minutes.
After last night's meltdown, I took away all electronics (Innotab, MobiGo, iTouch, Leapster ... everything) for several days. Dessert followed electronics as we tried to get her to calm down. We figured that losing privileges might make her stop screaming. Is it right to take things away when she is behaving like this? Am I being insensitive to what she is trying to deal with? I didn't give in at any point during her meltdowns. She does not have anything new from Toys R Us, I did not take her stuffed animals back downstairs, and I am not buying her a new box of Pull Ups. Is that enough? Will she eventually get the message and quit acting like Little Lord (or Lady) Fauntleroy? Or do we continue to gradually take things away until she stops? If we take things away are we feeding her anxieties about Mei Mei - that her things won't be hers because she has a sister coming along?
This behavior throws us off because she is a rule follower. She respects authority. She wants to please. So this sudden shift is shocking. To go from "I want to help" to "NO, BUY ME A TOY. BUY ME MORE PULL UPS. YOU TAKE MY STUFFIES DOWNSTAIRS!" is appalling. What is the right way to handle it? I have no idea.
She had one on Monday because I wouldn't buy her anything at Toys R Us. She screamed and screamed and screamed. It was awesome.
Yesterday she had an hour long meltdown, or temper tantrum, because I carried her stuffed animals upstairs and she carried her shoes and socks. She wanted to carry her stuffed animals upstairs. My response was, "well then take them back downstairs and come back up." Her response was, "No, you take them back downstairs and I will bring them back up." Not a slave to a 5 year old so didn't happen. But she raged and screamed and thrashed about in the hallway. For an hour.
Tonight she threw a gigantic fit because she is running out of pull ups. Yes, that's right my 5 year old refuses to poop in the toilet at home. She and I talked about it when we opened this box of Pull Ups. Since she goes at school ... in the toilet ... the deal is that when this box is done, she must go in the toilet at home too. There are about half a dozen left and she ordered me to buy her more. My answer, "No, remember, when these are gone, it's time to go in the toilet." Instant rage: jumping, kicking, screaming, and shouting that she will poop in her underwear. It took husband coming upstairs and using his stern daddy voice to get her to stop screaming. Once he got her to stop screaming and we had more inane conversations about where she would have her bowel movements she was finally at the hiccoughing stage of her cry and I wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her for awhile. We still don't have resolution to the great poop question. Both husband and I told her she could poop in her underwear but that it was her responsibility to clean up afterwards. She didn't like that answer. This meltdown, or temper tantrum, probably lasted 30 minutes.
After last night's meltdown, I took away all electronics (Innotab, MobiGo, iTouch, Leapster ... everything) for several days. Dessert followed electronics as we tried to get her to calm down. We figured that losing privileges might make her stop screaming. Is it right to take things away when she is behaving like this? Am I being insensitive to what she is trying to deal with? I didn't give in at any point during her meltdowns. She does not have anything new from Toys R Us, I did not take her stuffed animals back downstairs, and I am not buying her a new box of Pull Ups. Is that enough? Will she eventually get the message and quit acting like Little Lord (or Lady) Fauntleroy? Or do we continue to gradually take things away until she stops? If we take things away are we feeding her anxieties about Mei Mei - that her things won't be hers because she has a sister coming along?
This behavior throws us off because she is a rule follower. She respects authority. She wants to please. So this sudden shift is shocking. To go from "I want to help" to "NO, BUY ME A TOY. BUY ME MORE PULL UPS. YOU TAKE MY STUFFIES DOWNSTAIRS!" is appalling. What is the right way to handle it? I have no idea.
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