Letter to my Daughters
Dear Turtle:
You just turned 5, and what an amazing young lady you are becoming. You have been a joy since we first saw your face. When we received your picture, you were my child from the moment I saw you. I taped your picture to my office wall so I could look at you whenever I wanted. We were able to travel to get you 5 weeks from your referral. Those 5 weeks flew by. We spent the time getting your room ready, organizing the house, buying baby essentials, making travel arrangements and getting visas.
When we met you, you didn't cry. You just looked around and sucked your thumb. At 9 months old, you couldn't sit up and you didn't eat any solid foods. After about a week at home, you started to sit up and your first food was baby food bananas. You squealed and kicked your legs in happiness over the bananas.
I carried you everywhere for months and months trying to help you bond. It took you about 6 months to trust me enough to finally begin to "tell" me about your needs. Before that you would sit uncomplainingly - so I was vigilant about keeping you dry and feeding you breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bottle until I knew that you would start to tell me when you were uncomfortable. I read you books and played with you and your stacking cups and fancy V-Tech toys.
You started preschool at about 21 months. You were ready and made a best friend within a couple of weeks. He was a little boy named Nathan whom you called Nay Nay. His mom was a teacher in your preschool. Every day when I dropped you off, you and Nay Nay would run into each other's arms with great glee. After three short months we were able to get you into our neighborhood preschool and you made that transition beautifully although you cried every morning that I dropped you off for a couple of weeks. Now you know every teacher in the school and most of the kids. Some of the kids you go to school with will also join you in kindergarten. And you can see your kindergarten from your pre-k classroom.
You are a delightful surprise. While a big piece of me expected you to be into baby dolls and princesses, an even bigger part of me is overjoyed that you have chosen your own path that is neither of those things. You love helicopters and airplanes, cars and trains, rockets and spaceships. You also love all things in the sea (except the things that creep you out like anemones). You could give a lecture on echolocation and other things that dolphins do.
Just lately, you have been very anxious and it's largely because you have a sister coming. You are frightened that a sister means that you will get less of mommy and daddy. You won't get less, my girl. We will have to hold and carry your sister because she has special needs that will make it difficult for her to walk for the first three months or so after she joins our family. You are afraid that we will make you give her your toys. We won't, but we will encourage you to share some of them. Blankets are off limits - there will be no sharing of blankets and that's a promise. There will be things that only you get to do like help cook dinner, play with small legos, use Sharpies, and help with laundry. Your sister won't be old enough to do those things. You will also have some special daddy time this summer when you and daddy go to your golf lessons. Your baby sister can't play golf. You will get to go to the pool and your sister will not because she will be in casts up to her groin.
You are so compassionate that I think you will be a great big sister. You worry about people and want them to be happy. I love you my compassionate, smart, talkative, anxious, hesitant, sweet, and beautiful girl!
Dear Mei Mei,
We don't know you yet, but we know who you are. You are almost 18 months old. Right now, you live in an orphanage in China. We know that you have figured out how to make your needs and wants known because your orphanage told us that your sleep habits dictate that you have to sleep alone near and air conditioner or a fan or you don't sleep. They told us that you don't like to be hot. They told us that you like to be active. Know this, my darling girl, when we come and get you, you will no longer have to fight alone. We will fight for you.
We are so eager to come and get you. Waiting to meet you is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Our wait for Turtle once we knew who she was was only 5 weeks. Waiting for you is going to take over 3 months. It's awful to know that you are there waiting for us and we can't come and get you. But we will. We are getting to you just as fast as we can. I can't wait to learn about you and what turns you on.
When you get home, your room will be ready. You will have your own bed and there will be a fan in your room to keep you cool. You will be in casts all summer, but we will try to keep you comfortable. We will let you hang out in a diaper and a t-shirt if that helps you stay cool. We will try to learn your wants and needs as fast as we can so that you will learn to trust us as your family. We love you already, but we know that it will take you some time to love us and that's okay. You take all the time you need, Mei Mei, we will wait and smother you in love in the meantime.
You just turned 5, and what an amazing young lady you are becoming. You have been a joy since we first saw your face. When we received your picture, you were my child from the moment I saw you. I taped your picture to my office wall so I could look at you whenever I wanted. We were able to travel to get you 5 weeks from your referral. Those 5 weeks flew by. We spent the time getting your room ready, organizing the house, buying baby essentials, making travel arrangements and getting visas.
When we met you, you didn't cry. You just looked around and sucked your thumb. At 9 months old, you couldn't sit up and you didn't eat any solid foods. After about a week at home, you started to sit up and your first food was baby food bananas. You squealed and kicked your legs in happiness over the bananas.
I carried you everywhere for months and months trying to help you bond. It took you about 6 months to trust me enough to finally begin to "tell" me about your needs. Before that you would sit uncomplainingly - so I was vigilant about keeping you dry and feeding you breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bottle until I knew that you would start to tell me when you were uncomfortable. I read you books and played with you and your stacking cups and fancy V-Tech toys.
You started preschool at about 21 months. You were ready and made a best friend within a couple of weeks. He was a little boy named Nathan whom you called Nay Nay. His mom was a teacher in your preschool. Every day when I dropped you off, you and Nay Nay would run into each other's arms with great glee. After three short months we were able to get you into our neighborhood preschool and you made that transition beautifully although you cried every morning that I dropped you off for a couple of weeks. Now you know every teacher in the school and most of the kids. Some of the kids you go to school with will also join you in kindergarten. And you can see your kindergarten from your pre-k classroom.
You are a delightful surprise. While a big piece of me expected you to be into baby dolls and princesses, an even bigger part of me is overjoyed that you have chosen your own path that is neither of those things. You love helicopters and airplanes, cars and trains, rockets and spaceships. You also love all things in the sea (except the things that creep you out like anemones). You could give a lecture on echolocation and other things that dolphins do.
Just lately, you have been very anxious and it's largely because you have a sister coming. You are frightened that a sister means that you will get less of mommy and daddy. You won't get less, my girl. We will have to hold and carry your sister because she has special needs that will make it difficult for her to walk for the first three months or so after she joins our family. You are afraid that we will make you give her your toys. We won't, but we will encourage you to share some of them. Blankets are off limits - there will be no sharing of blankets and that's a promise. There will be things that only you get to do like help cook dinner, play with small legos, use Sharpies, and help with laundry. Your sister won't be old enough to do those things. You will also have some special daddy time this summer when you and daddy go to your golf lessons. Your baby sister can't play golf. You will get to go to the pool and your sister will not because she will be in casts up to her groin.
You are so compassionate that I think you will be a great big sister. You worry about people and want them to be happy. I love you my compassionate, smart, talkative, anxious, hesitant, sweet, and beautiful girl!
Dear Mei Mei,
We don't know you yet, but we know who you are. You are almost 18 months old. Right now, you live in an orphanage in China. We know that you have figured out how to make your needs and wants known because your orphanage told us that your sleep habits dictate that you have to sleep alone near and air conditioner or a fan or you don't sleep. They told us that you don't like to be hot. They told us that you like to be active. Know this, my darling girl, when we come and get you, you will no longer have to fight alone. We will fight for you.
We are so eager to come and get you. Waiting to meet you is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Our wait for Turtle once we knew who she was was only 5 weeks. Waiting for you is going to take over 3 months. It's awful to know that you are there waiting for us and we can't come and get you. But we will. We are getting to you just as fast as we can. I can't wait to learn about you and what turns you on.
When you get home, your room will be ready. You will have your own bed and there will be a fan in your room to keep you cool. You will be in casts all summer, but we will try to keep you comfortable. We will let you hang out in a diaper and a t-shirt if that helps you stay cool. We will try to learn your wants and needs as fast as we can so that you will learn to trust us as your family. We love you already, but we know that it will take you some time to love us and that's okay. You take all the time you need, Mei Mei, we will wait and smother you in love in the meantime.
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