Waiting ...
Waiting for Mei Mei is much harder than waiting for Turtle when we got to this stage. With Turtle, we knew we were going to get her in 5 weeks. With Mei Mei the wait is 10 - 14 weeks and no guarantees. I think the wait would be easier if Turtle was not so anxious. I have a lot of friends out there who tell me how normal it is that she is anxious, but frankly, I have a hard time believing that her levels of anxiety are normal. In fact, I think they are probably rather unusual.
Last night we were shot from sleep at 3:00 a.m. with shrieks of rage from Turtle. She was fully awake and she was pissed. She was shrieking and kicking and trying to get off of the bed. I held onto her because I was afraid she would hurt herself in the dark. She kept saying that the time was close for her sister to be here and that Spring was only 2 days away. We told her a few months ago that we thought we would get her sister in the Spring, so I think she thinks her sister will be here in 2 days. I wish.
So, in Trust-Based Parenting you are supposed to make your child have do-overs and ask for things with respect, but let me tell you that at 3:00 in the morning when my child is commanding me to do things I'm not going to stop her and make her say please.
Turtle: Have a conversation!
Me: What should we talk about?
Turtle: Just have a conversation!
Me: Okay ...I have no recollection what I said, but it mollified her a little bit
Turtle: I don't want to cry everyday before my sister comes!
Me: Can I tell you something?
Turtle: NO!
Me: Can I wrap you in your blanket and hold you?
Turtle nodded
The whole encounter took about 20 minutes, thank goodness, and had I slowed down and made her do things "with respect" we would have been up the rest of the night getting through that one. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the Trust-Based methods and put them into action during the day ... but the middle of the night is a whole different animal.
If we could just get through the government bureaucracy and go and get Mei Mei, I genuinely believe that Turtle will relax. She will see that there is plenty of mommy and daddy to go around. I am very hopeful that Mei Mei will think that Turtle is the bees knees.
Time will tell, but I'm quite sick of waiting and I think Turtle is too.
Last night we were shot from sleep at 3:00 a.m. with shrieks of rage from Turtle. She was fully awake and she was pissed. She was shrieking and kicking and trying to get off of the bed. I held onto her because I was afraid she would hurt herself in the dark. She kept saying that the time was close for her sister to be here and that Spring was only 2 days away. We told her a few months ago that we thought we would get her sister in the Spring, so I think she thinks her sister will be here in 2 days. I wish.
So, in Trust-Based Parenting you are supposed to make your child have do-overs and ask for things with respect, but let me tell you that at 3:00 in the morning when my child is commanding me to do things I'm not going to stop her and make her say please.
Turtle: Have a conversation!
Me: What should we talk about?
Turtle: Just have a conversation!
Me: Okay ...I have no recollection what I said, but it mollified her a little bit
Turtle: I don't want to cry everyday before my sister comes!
Me: Can I tell you something?
Turtle: NO!
Me: Can I wrap you in your blanket and hold you?
Turtle nodded
The whole encounter took about 20 minutes, thank goodness, and had I slowed down and made her do things "with respect" we would have been up the rest of the night getting through that one. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the Trust-Based methods and put them into action during the day ... but the middle of the night is a whole different animal.
If we could just get through the government bureaucracy and go and get Mei Mei, I genuinely believe that Turtle will relax. She will see that there is plenty of mommy and daddy to go around. I am very hopeful that Mei Mei will think that Turtle is the bees knees.
Time will tell, but I'm quite sick of waiting and I think Turtle is too.
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