The Adventures of Adoption and Parenthood

The woman's eyes are overbright The mother's smile is slightly wobbly (if you pay close enough attention) The woman refreshes email every 5 minutes The mother watches TAs pour in for other families The woman knows there is a holiday in China in 2 days The mother might have to go the weekend without TA The mother's first born has a cold The thermometer has gone missing She stayed home from school Almost out of Sudafed Had to go to work Her daddy is taking care of her Can't say yes to any future plans Doesn't know when the trip is Still so much to do Baby's room to organize Shopping to be done Doctor's appointments to be made Baby proofing to do Packing to be done Travel arrangements to make ... if only Must monitor first child for any signs of a meltdown They happen in seconds Anything can set her off Can we deviate from any routine? Right now? Too tenuous for everyone The baby's eyes are cheerful as she watches her caregiver...

In TBRI training on Tuesday night, towards the end we were discussing the benefits of having dogs and how they are great for veterans with PTSD and the facilitator said that our kids have PTSD. And why wouldn't they? They were abandoned on the street (literally) to be found by someone who turned them over to police who turned them over to an orphanage (and in some cases they were turned over to foster care) and then ultimately turned over to us - their forever family. That is pretty god damned traumatic. That really stuck with me. Tonight, Turtle had a meltdown (she hasn't had one in 2 or 3 weeks but she was exhausted and that was likely the trigger). I had to take a minute or two to gather myself before I could engage. I knew if I didn't get myself in the right place, we weren't going to make any progress. Towards the end of the meltdown, she kept telling me over and over again that I ruined her day (I wouldn't walk upstairs with her to get my phone so she could ...

We are in the final stretch of waiting for Mei Mei. Although I think it's easier than it was waiting for I800 approval, the pdf, and Article 5. We are waiting on TA or Travel Approval if you are not in the international adoption community. We think we are 3 - 5 weeks away from travel, but still don't know dates. Makes planning very difficult. I've been spending my weekdays training a bunch of people to cover my position while I'm out this summer and just trying to prepare people as best I can. I spend my non-work hours doing things that don't really relate to travel. We have taken a more in depth TBRI training course that ends next week. Talk about improvement - wow! It's been  terrific to learn these techniques for Turtle. And it's made an immediate impact and we expect more to come as we continue to be consistent with it. But back to waiting... I am most assuredly not a procrastinator, but I have been having trouble getting motivated to start setting thi...

It's been awhile since my last post. We have been making some real progress with our nervous, anxious little girl. As you know, her meltdowns ratcheted up and were occurring more and more often in public. She was becoming tearful over everything. She was becoming defiant and commanding. We think all of this was triggered by age (turning 5 is a developmental thing in the brain) and the impending little sister. It was exhausting. So, we reached out to CCAI (have I mentioned how amazing they are?) for help. We are taking an evening class in parent training and Turtle gets her own class at the same time that teaches her how to control her own anxieties. She LOVES it. She gets to jump off of high places into bean bag chairs, play on the sit 'n spin, chew bubble gum, listen to calming cds and use weighted blankets. We get to understand how we can help Turtle feel secure, feel in control and calm her anxieties. We use breathing techniques, some quasi-meditation techniques, scrip...