This Waiting Thing is Hard to Do
We are in the final stretch of waiting for Mei Mei. Although I think it's easier than it was waiting for I800 approval, the pdf, and Article 5. We are waiting on TA or Travel Approval if you are not in the international adoption community. We think we are 3 - 5 weeks away from travel, but still don't know dates. Makes planning very difficult.
I've been spending my weekdays training a bunch of people to cover my position while I'm out this summer and just trying to prepare people as best I can. I spend my non-work hours doing things that don't really relate to travel. We have taken a more in depth TBRI training course that ends next week. Talk about improvement - wow! It's been terrific to learn these techniques for Turtle. And it's made an immediate impact and we expect more to come as we continue to be consistent with it. But back to waiting... I am most assuredly not a procrastinator, but I have been having trouble getting motivated to start setting things aside to pack, buying the long list of pharmaceuticals we are taking, getting the "gifts" for the various officials, installing the carseats, obtaining the baby proofing stuff and then installing it, setting up Mei Mei's room, straightening out Turtle's room, bringing down the baby toys and books to the family room, and arranging for someone to mow our lawn. All of this stuff needs to be done. Plus getting cash ready, getting passport photos, arranging for a ride to and from the airport, making sure we have all of the right paperwork set aside including our passports with the Chinese visas. It's overwhelming. I have lists upon lists and I add to them everyday.
I wonder if I will be more motivated once we have TA, or if this same lethargy will still be there. Why is it there? Is it because I'm going to miss the evenings I get to spend with Turtle when husband is traveling. It's just me and her and we hang out playing games, watching a movie, reading stories, taking a bath, or snuggling in bed and talking. It's so quiet and everything is content. Is it because I know my family room will explode with toys again? There will be no more tidy house for a couple of years. Is it because I know that doing laundry every other night will no longer be enough? Every night will be a necessity. Is it because I just haven't been able to picture how to tend to both girls needs when I get them both home? Mei Mei will have a myriad of medical appointments. She will be in casts up to her hips. Maybe she can get around, maybe she can't. Supposedly she likes to sleep alone, but does she? Maybe we will add her to our family bed too and get kicked in the head by a baby with casts on her legs. It's daunting because of husband's travel. There won't be quiet moments when he is out of town. Probably the best I can hope for is controlled chaos.
Don't get me wrong. I am in no way second guessing our decision to adopt our second daughter. I can't wait to get my arms around her and hold her tight and start the long slow road to bonding and attachment. I can't wait to "wear" her everywhere just like I did with Turtle. I can't wait to read to her and talk to her and teach her English. I can't wait to watch Turtle as a big sister. I think she will be a good one. I can't wait to listen the girls compete to be heard at the dinner table. I can't wait to have to juggle their schedules as one goes to ski lessons and one goes to gymnastics; or one goes to golf lessons and the other to swim ... or whatever it is that turns them on. I can't wait to explore the Chinese culture with both girls and celebrate the holidays as they grow up. What will Mei Mei like? Will it be the princesses her sister abhors? Will it be transportation just like her sister? Or maybe it will be building things? Perhaps animals? I can't wait to find out what I have to learn about next. Lately, Turtle has been keeping us on our toes with a long list of dinosaurs that she knows all about and we have to keep up.
And how about our travel group for Mei Mei. Of course, we know nothing about our group because we don't have TA yet, but will they be as good as our first one was? We bonded so beautifully with our first travel group and everybody got along well. Most of us seem to parent the same way and are non-judgmental. Will this group be the same or not? And no more Shamian Island in Guangzhou. That is a little bit heartbreaking. I understand we stay closer to the Consulate now with less charm. Shamian Island was like a little oasis and I felt safe just walking around and shopping on my own. I'm not sure I will feel that way in the busier business centers of Guangzhou.
I think I have a serious case of nerves. This weekend I will organize both girls rooms and set out the stuff to pack. Husband wants to make sure we don't need a new suitcase. So even though we are at least 3 weeks out (knowing my luck, it's closer to 5), it's time to layout clothes and pharmaceuticals to see what size suitcase(s) we should bring. We learned from the last trip to pack lighter, although I will need a couple of different devices to carry the girls since we aren't bringing a stroller and those will go in the suitcase too. Turtle already has her carry on Planes backpack packed with 3 books, 2 stuffed animals and 2 airplanes. She is ready to go. The question is do we pack her 6 pound weighted blanket or take our chances and leave it behind. She sleeps with it every night and has requested it when she starts to head toward meltdown territory - it really helps her calm down. But 6 pounds is a lot for airplane travel. Thoughts?
I've been spending my weekdays training a bunch of people to cover my position while I'm out this summer and just trying to prepare people as best I can. I spend my non-work hours doing things that don't really relate to travel. We have taken a more in depth TBRI training course that ends next week. Talk about improvement - wow! It's been terrific to learn these techniques for Turtle. And it's made an immediate impact and we expect more to come as we continue to be consistent with it. But back to waiting... I am most assuredly not a procrastinator, but I have been having trouble getting motivated to start setting things aside to pack, buying the long list of pharmaceuticals we are taking, getting the "gifts" for the various officials, installing the carseats, obtaining the baby proofing stuff and then installing it, setting up Mei Mei's room, straightening out Turtle's room, bringing down the baby toys and books to the family room, and arranging for someone to mow our lawn. All of this stuff needs to be done. Plus getting cash ready, getting passport photos, arranging for a ride to and from the airport, making sure we have all of the right paperwork set aside including our passports with the Chinese visas. It's overwhelming. I have lists upon lists and I add to them everyday.
I wonder if I will be more motivated once we have TA, or if this same lethargy will still be there. Why is it there? Is it because I'm going to miss the evenings I get to spend with Turtle when husband is traveling. It's just me and her and we hang out playing games, watching a movie, reading stories, taking a bath, or snuggling in bed and talking. It's so quiet and everything is content. Is it because I know my family room will explode with toys again? There will be no more tidy house for a couple of years. Is it because I know that doing laundry every other night will no longer be enough? Every night will be a necessity. Is it because I just haven't been able to picture how to tend to both girls needs when I get them both home? Mei Mei will have a myriad of medical appointments. She will be in casts up to her hips. Maybe she can get around, maybe she can't. Supposedly she likes to sleep alone, but does she? Maybe we will add her to our family bed too and get kicked in the head by a baby with casts on her legs. It's daunting because of husband's travel. There won't be quiet moments when he is out of town. Probably the best I can hope for is controlled chaos.
Don't get me wrong. I am in no way second guessing our decision to adopt our second daughter. I can't wait to get my arms around her and hold her tight and start the long slow road to bonding and attachment. I can't wait to "wear" her everywhere just like I did with Turtle. I can't wait to read to her and talk to her and teach her English. I can't wait to watch Turtle as a big sister. I think she will be a good one. I can't wait to listen the girls compete to be heard at the dinner table. I can't wait to have to juggle their schedules as one goes to ski lessons and one goes to gymnastics; or one goes to golf lessons and the other to swim ... or whatever it is that turns them on. I can't wait to explore the Chinese culture with both girls and celebrate the holidays as they grow up. What will Mei Mei like? Will it be the princesses her sister abhors? Will it be transportation just like her sister? Or maybe it will be building things? Perhaps animals? I can't wait to find out what I have to learn about next. Lately, Turtle has been keeping us on our toes with a long list of dinosaurs that she knows all about and we have to keep up.
And how about our travel group for Mei Mei. Of course, we know nothing about our group because we don't have TA yet, but will they be as good as our first one was? We bonded so beautifully with our first travel group and everybody got along well. Most of us seem to parent the same way and are non-judgmental. Will this group be the same or not? And no more Shamian Island in Guangzhou. That is a little bit heartbreaking. I understand we stay closer to the Consulate now with less charm. Shamian Island was like a little oasis and I felt safe just walking around and shopping on my own. I'm not sure I will feel that way in the busier business centers of Guangzhou.
I think I have a serious case of nerves. This weekend I will organize both girls rooms and set out the stuff to pack. Husband wants to make sure we don't need a new suitcase. So even though we are at least 3 weeks out (knowing my luck, it's closer to 5), it's time to layout clothes and pharmaceuticals to see what size suitcase(s) we should bring. We learned from the last trip to pack lighter, although I will need a couple of different devices to carry the girls since we aren't bringing a stroller and those will go in the suitcase too. Turtle already has her carry on Planes backpack packed with 3 books, 2 stuffed animals and 2 airplanes. She is ready to go. The question is do we pack her 6 pound weighted blanket or take our chances and leave it behind. She sleeps with it every night and has requested it when she starts to head toward meltdown territory - it really helps her calm down. But 6 pounds is a lot for airplane travel. Thoughts?
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