Jealousy

Turtle had a rough day. She was feeling very excluded no matter what we did to help her understand that she was a valuable member of our family. Here is how our day went:


  • Trip to Lamar's donuts where Turtle got 2 donuts and Mei Mei had Cheerios.
  • Trip to grocery store where Turtle rode on the back of the cart and got to put the items in the cart.
  • Home, put groceries away, fed the girls a snack. Played on the floor a little bit.
  • Put Mei Mei down for a nap. Turtle watched golf with her daddy and she and I read from James and the Giant Peach.
  • Naptime over, playtime with both girls. Turtle was allowed to play with my put-together legos, specifically the VW bus.
  • Turtle helped me cook dinner. Watched the end of the US v Portugal soccer game. 
  • Gave both girls a bath, lotioned them both up, jammied them both up.


During the soccer game, Turtle told me that she didn't feel like part of this family. She told me she felt jealous because Mei Mei gets all of the attention. I spent significant time holding her and talking to her and reassuring her that she is my #1 girl. I also explained (again) why Mei Mei gets a little bit more attention. She continued to be contrary and a little bit sassy.

We tried the TBRI training that we learned to help her self-regulate. It worked a little bit, but she is so sad. I know that time will heal this, but it hurts to watch her struggle, especially when I feel like she had lots of things go her way today. Mei Mei spent a lot of time in independent play and didn't get much attention. No, she wasn't left alone. We were in the same room. But I would have liked to be on the floor playing with her. Or at least being near her. Furthering our bonding process. But Turtle  demanded attention and shunting her aside could have been very detrimental. The balance is difficult.

What advice do you have? Have you dealt with this? What did you do? I would love to hear your stories and your thoughts.

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