We Have Mei Mei
We have added a spunky, funny, cantankerous little girl to our household. She is 21 months old and from Henan Province in China. Here's how the trip went - buckle up, it's a bumpy ride.
You all know about Turtle's PTSD and the major emotional swings she had before the trip to China. We were ready for the worst. Turns out it wasn't Turtle we had to worry about. It was me. The three of us left for Beijing on a Wednesday in May. We arrived Thursday afternoon and settled into the hotel with several other families adopting too.
Friday was our tour of Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. It was hot and smoggy. Turtle needed to be carried much of the day. I wasn't feeling well and wasn't dealing with the 14 hour time change very well. My exhaustion must have been apparent because one of the other adopting dads offered to carry her for me and another adopting dad offered up his stroller for the next day's trek to The Great Wall. My husband is not a slouch; Turtle would not be mollified by anyone but me.
That night we went and found a Thai restaurant at a 6 story sleek shopping mall a couple of blocks from our hotel. Husband went to the "night food market" and took pictures of spiders on a stick, centipedes on a stick, scorpions on a stick, etc. Appetizing - not. When he got back I was in full-on panic mode. What was I thinking to add a child to our family? My still healing broken ribs were screaming at me after a day of carrying around my 40 pound child, I had an asthma attack in the Forbidden City, my arthritic hip was killing me, and my back ached. How in the hell did I think I could add a child to our family and successfully care for her when my body acted like it was 90. I was tempted to get on a plane and go back home and pretend that nothing happened. But I wanted to hold my baby girl and rock her and let her know how loved she was. Of course, we weren't getting on a plane, but I was suddenly terrified and had cold feet. Husband and I had a brilliantly rational conversation that talked me off the ledge - not that I was on much of one but I felt pretty awful and like a terrible mother.
Saturday, we headed to The Great Wall. I made it to the first station and my energetic Turtle climbed right beside me chattering away the whole time about how she just had to climb The Great Wall. I had no intentions of stopping her. At the first station, I had my second asthma attack of the trip. I parked myself on a stair - totally blocking pedestrian traffic and sucked on my inhaler and a bottle of water until the police told me to get up. Then Turtle and I made our slow progress back down while husband climbed higher and took some great pictures.
Sunday, we flew to Zhengzhou in Henan Province. We would meet Mei Mei the next day. We barely made our plane as we were a group of about 40 people and it took forever to get our boarding passes and get through security. You see, security agents in China, scrutinize your passport like it's going to change between inspections. You must stand directly in front of them while they look at you, then your passport, then you, then your passport, and on and on as though your features might change. But we all made it on the flight.
Zhengzhou was very polluted, very hot, very humid, and very crowded. We walked to the Walmart as a giant group of big tall Americans crowding the already crowded sidewalk. The sidewalks were teeming with scooters and bicycles all loaded down with people and cargo zipping along ignoring the pedestrians. We kept Turtle on the inside ready to snatch her out of harms way in an instant. The Walmart was 2 stories. I found the diapers but bought pull ups by accident. I don't read Chinese, so I used pull ups until we could replace them with diapers on our next trip to Walmart.
Monday - Gotcha Day! All of the families nervously loaded up on the bus and went to the Registration office to await our babies. When we got there, two kiddoes were already there. It was so moving to watch these children be placed with their forever families. There were lots of tears from frightened children and lots of tears from grateful parents. Mei Mei came in the 3rd or 4th van with another little girl from the same area of Henan Province - turns out they were neighbors in two different foster families.
As we were watching families get their babies, Turtle asked to be picked up. I obliged and held her tight. She began to cry. "Mommy, I don't want a baby sister. Can we get a lizard?" She was so brokenhearted, that I began to cry. I was breaking my daughter's heart with this new little sister, but we were getting her anyway and banking on Turtle's innate compassion to win out. Then in walked the woman who carried my baby. I knew who she was in an instant. Husband went over and accepted her and Mei Mei cried quiet tears. She made almost no noise but was crying her heart out. I kept hold of Turtle to try and help her understand that she was just as important as her new sister. Eventually, Turtle got down and played with some other older siblings. Then I got my arms around Mei Mei. She snuggled right in and seemed to settle in.
Back at the hotel, we fed her lunch in the hotel restaurant and she actually smiled and interacted with us. We were amazed and gratified. The next day we headed back to the Registration office where Turtle asked (on the way in), "are we getting another baby?" I was confused and said, No. She said, "Then why are we here." It was kind of funny. This trip was to make everything official on the Chinese side. Mei Mei was officially ours.
On Wednesday, we went to a pretty park close to our hotel with another family. It was so hot you could practically wring us out. On Thursday we took a van to Mei Mei's city and requested her passport. The ride was 3 1/2 - 4 hours long for 20 minutes of paperwork and then 3 1/2 to 4 hours back. It was uneventful but a long day for two kids. They both did great.
On Friday, we toured the Shaolin Temple. We saw a kungfu show. As soon as the first group of performers came out, Turtle instantly fell asleep. When the show was over, I picked her up and she woke into a rage. We were with a tour guide and we had to keep up with the tour. I carried her as she screamed into my ear and kicked her legs for about 45 minutes. I finally got her calmed down in time for some lunch, and then she was just fine. It was like nothing happened. I took Mei Mei back who was also crying - either because Turtle was hysterical or because I wasn't holding her or both.
Saturday we flew to Guangzhou. And once again, we barely made our flight. It turns out that Chinese airlines will hold the flight for big groups. American airlines will not. In Guangzhou we did a few excursions. We went to the Six Banyan Temple, the folklore museum, the Pearl Market, the Zoo, Pearl River Dinner Cruise and Shamian Island. We also had our US Consulate appointment where we requested Mei Mei's visa. We got to know some other families a little better. And one evening, in our hotel room, Turtle had another meltdown. She kept saying that she wanted to live right next to the province where she was born so that she could see her province everyday. I don't think she understands what a province is, but we certainly got the gist. We just kept reassuring her that it was absolutely okay to feel that way, that China is a very special place, we love it too, and we will be back. She finally fell asleep and slept deeply that night.
We returned home on Saturday. We took a van ride from Guangzhou to Hong Kong which is quite terrifying. The driver kept nodding off and jerking awake. He was all over the road. He was driving with both feet and would gas it and then hit the brakes. It's amazing none of us threw up and that we actually made it to the Hong Kong airport. But we did. Our flights were uneventful and I type this with Mei Mei on my lap refusing to sleep. Jetlag is a nightmare and, for us, the most trying part of the trip.
Melatonin, here we come.
You all know about Turtle's PTSD and the major emotional swings she had before the trip to China. We were ready for the worst. Turns out it wasn't Turtle we had to worry about. It was me. The three of us left for Beijing on a Wednesday in May. We arrived Thursday afternoon and settled into the hotel with several other families adopting too.
Friday was our tour of Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. It was hot and smoggy. Turtle needed to be carried much of the day. I wasn't feeling well and wasn't dealing with the 14 hour time change very well. My exhaustion must have been apparent because one of the other adopting dads offered to carry her for me and another adopting dad offered up his stroller for the next day's trek to The Great Wall. My husband is not a slouch; Turtle would not be mollified by anyone but me.
That night we went and found a Thai restaurant at a 6 story sleek shopping mall a couple of blocks from our hotel. Husband went to the "night food market" and took pictures of spiders on a stick, centipedes on a stick, scorpions on a stick, etc. Appetizing - not. When he got back I was in full-on panic mode. What was I thinking to add a child to our family? My still healing broken ribs were screaming at me after a day of carrying around my 40 pound child, I had an asthma attack in the Forbidden City, my arthritic hip was killing me, and my back ached. How in the hell did I think I could add a child to our family and successfully care for her when my body acted like it was 90. I was tempted to get on a plane and go back home and pretend that nothing happened. But I wanted to hold my baby girl and rock her and let her know how loved she was. Of course, we weren't getting on a plane, but I was suddenly terrified and had cold feet. Husband and I had a brilliantly rational conversation that talked me off the ledge - not that I was on much of one but I felt pretty awful and like a terrible mother.
Saturday, we headed to The Great Wall. I made it to the first station and my energetic Turtle climbed right beside me chattering away the whole time about how she just had to climb The Great Wall. I had no intentions of stopping her. At the first station, I had my second asthma attack of the trip. I parked myself on a stair - totally blocking pedestrian traffic and sucked on my inhaler and a bottle of water until the police told me to get up. Then Turtle and I made our slow progress back down while husband climbed higher and took some great pictures.
Sunday, we flew to Zhengzhou in Henan Province. We would meet Mei Mei the next day. We barely made our plane as we were a group of about 40 people and it took forever to get our boarding passes and get through security. You see, security agents in China, scrutinize your passport like it's going to change between inspections. You must stand directly in front of them while they look at you, then your passport, then you, then your passport, and on and on as though your features might change. But we all made it on the flight.
Zhengzhou was very polluted, very hot, very humid, and very crowded. We walked to the Walmart as a giant group of big tall Americans crowding the already crowded sidewalk. The sidewalks were teeming with scooters and bicycles all loaded down with people and cargo zipping along ignoring the pedestrians. We kept Turtle on the inside ready to snatch her out of harms way in an instant. The Walmart was 2 stories. I found the diapers but bought pull ups by accident. I don't read Chinese, so I used pull ups until we could replace them with diapers on our next trip to Walmart.
Monday - Gotcha Day! All of the families nervously loaded up on the bus and went to the Registration office to await our babies. When we got there, two kiddoes were already there. It was so moving to watch these children be placed with their forever families. There were lots of tears from frightened children and lots of tears from grateful parents. Mei Mei came in the 3rd or 4th van with another little girl from the same area of Henan Province - turns out they were neighbors in two different foster families.
As we were watching families get their babies, Turtle asked to be picked up. I obliged and held her tight. She began to cry. "Mommy, I don't want a baby sister. Can we get a lizard?" She was so brokenhearted, that I began to cry. I was breaking my daughter's heart with this new little sister, but we were getting her anyway and banking on Turtle's innate compassion to win out. Then in walked the woman who carried my baby. I knew who she was in an instant. Husband went over and accepted her and Mei Mei cried quiet tears. She made almost no noise but was crying her heart out. I kept hold of Turtle to try and help her understand that she was just as important as her new sister. Eventually, Turtle got down and played with some other older siblings. Then I got my arms around Mei Mei. She snuggled right in and seemed to settle in.
Back at the hotel, we fed her lunch in the hotel restaurant and she actually smiled and interacted with us. We were amazed and gratified. The next day we headed back to the Registration office where Turtle asked (on the way in), "are we getting another baby?" I was confused and said, No. She said, "Then why are we here." It was kind of funny. This trip was to make everything official on the Chinese side. Mei Mei was officially ours.
On Wednesday, we went to a pretty park close to our hotel with another family. It was so hot you could practically wring us out. On Thursday we took a van to Mei Mei's city and requested her passport. The ride was 3 1/2 - 4 hours long for 20 minutes of paperwork and then 3 1/2 to 4 hours back. It was uneventful but a long day for two kids. They both did great.
On Friday, we toured the Shaolin Temple. We saw a kungfu show. As soon as the first group of performers came out, Turtle instantly fell asleep. When the show was over, I picked her up and she woke into a rage. We were with a tour guide and we had to keep up with the tour. I carried her as she screamed into my ear and kicked her legs for about 45 minutes. I finally got her calmed down in time for some lunch, and then she was just fine. It was like nothing happened. I took Mei Mei back who was also crying - either because Turtle was hysterical or because I wasn't holding her or both.
Saturday we flew to Guangzhou. And once again, we barely made our flight. It turns out that Chinese airlines will hold the flight for big groups. American airlines will not. In Guangzhou we did a few excursions. We went to the Six Banyan Temple, the folklore museum, the Pearl Market, the Zoo, Pearl River Dinner Cruise and Shamian Island. We also had our US Consulate appointment where we requested Mei Mei's visa. We got to know some other families a little better. And one evening, in our hotel room, Turtle had another meltdown. She kept saying that she wanted to live right next to the province where she was born so that she could see her province everyday. I don't think she understands what a province is, but we certainly got the gist. We just kept reassuring her that it was absolutely okay to feel that way, that China is a very special place, we love it too, and we will be back. She finally fell asleep and slept deeply that night.
We returned home on Saturday. We took a van ride from Guangzhou to Hong Kong which is quite terrifying. The driver kept nodding off and jerking awake. He was all over the road. He was driving with both feet and would gas it and then hit the brakes. It's amazing none of us threw up and that we actually made it to the Hong Kong airport. But we did. Our flights were uneventful and I type this with Mei Mei on my lap refusing to sleep. Jetlag is a nightmare and, for us, the most trying part of the trip.
Melatonin, here we come.
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