The Mom I Wish I Was
I am the mother of two amazing girls. One is 5 years old and I'm renaming her Prima. The other is 22 months old and I'm renaming her Segunda. Prima is smart, sensitive, thoughtful, a poor listener, a professional talker; Segunda is wiley, determined, loves praise, a picky eater. Both are jealous.
I see families on tv and out in public who have it together. Obviously the tv families are fake, but I want to have what they have. The moms react exactly right over spilled milk. I start yelling at Segunda to stop spitting her milk out. She likes to fill her mouth and then spit out the contents. Annoying. And gross.
The moms on tv know exactly how to handle their kids jealousy or fighting. I sit on the couch while the two of them fight over my lap getting kicked, elbowed in the boob, and having my glasses knocked off my face.
The moms on tv do all of these enriching activities with their children. I just find them enervating. Construction paper kites - who has time for that.
On tv and in catalogs you see these beautifully organized kids' rooms and playrooms and family rooms. My family room looks like Fisher Price threw up. At this very moment, there is a dishwasher full of clean dishes I have not put away, a dryer full of clean clothes I have not folded, a washer full of washed clothes that won't make it to the dryer until morning, sheets that need to be washed, towels that need to be washed, a giant cardboard box in my dining room that needs to be broken down and put in recycling, paperwork in progress for Segunda's adoption finalization, paperwork in progress for her medical stuff, paperwork in progress for Prima's kindergarten.
The moms on tv open up a box with a splendid prize inside, put it together and have the whole mess cleaned up in minutes all the while entertaining smiling kids. When I do it, I struggle with the screws, Segunda stuffs 3 pieces of chalk in her mouth and Prima rolls around on the cardboard box.
Bathtime - on tv it's all fun with bubbles and bath toys. In reality, water is everywhere, kids are trying to stand up, and one of them is inevitably pooping.
On tv, Mom puts dinner on the table complete with lovely green vegetables to which the kids dive into with gusto. In my house, mom and dad are the only ones eating the green things and the kids are screaming for dessert. No, there is no dessert without the vegetables.
I love my children with all my heart! I just wish I could get this mothering thing right.
I see families on tv and out in public who have it together. Obviously the tv families are fake, but I want to have what they have. The moms react exactly right over spilled milk. I start yelling at Segunda to stop spitting her milk out. She likes to fill her mouth and then spit out the contents. Annoying. And gross.
The moms on tv know exactly how to handle their kids jealousy or fighting. I sit on the couch while the two of them fight over my lap getting kicked, elbowed in the boob, and having my glasses knocked off my face.
The moms on tv do all of these enriching activities with their children. I just find them enervating. Construction paper kites - who has time for that.
On tv and in catalogs you see these beautifully organized kids' rooms and playrooms and family rooms. My family room looks like Fisher Price threw up. At this very moment, there is a dishwasher full of clean dishes I have not put away, a dryer full of clean clothes I have not folded, a washer full of washed clothes that won't make it to the dryer until morning, sheets that need to be washed, towels that need to be washed, a giant cardboard box in my dining room that needs to be broken down and put in recycling, paperwork in progress for Segunda's adoption finalization, paperwork in progress for her medical stuff, paperwork in progress for Prima's kindergarten.
The moms on tv open up a box with a splendid prize inside, put it together and have the whole mess cleaned up in minutes all the while entertaining smiling kids. When I do it, I struggle with the screws, Segunda stuffs 3 pieces of chalk in her mouth and Prima rolls around on the cardboard box.
Bathtime - on tv it's all fun with bubbles and bath toys. In reality, water is everywhere, kids are trying to stand up, and one of them is inevitably pooping.
On tv, Mom puts dinner on the table complete with lovely green vegetables to which the kids dive into with gusto. In my house, mom and dad are the only ones eating the green things and the kids are screaming for dessert. No, there is no dessert without the vegetables.
I love my children with all my heart! I just wish I could get this mothering thing right.
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